Autotelic Drive

The word “enough” can be defined in several ways depending on the context. Some common definitions include:

1. Adequate: Sufficient to meet a need or purpose; not insufficient or deficient.
2. Satisfactory: Meeting the requirements or expectations; not needing further improvement.
3. Contentment: A state of being satisfied or at peace with one’s current situation or circumstances.
4. Limitation: Indicating a point at which no more is desired or required, as in “I’ve had enough.”
5. Abundance: More than sufficient; a plentiful amount. “Enough” is a versatile word that can describe a state of adequacy, sufficiency, or even contentment.

We as people existing in this physical reality are enough by definition because we exist and alive, but every day of our lives we spend believing that we are NOT enough.

We get confused as babies when we perceive love to be conditional and learn to earn it.

Then we develop the belief that we are inherently not enough and spend the rest of our life trying to prove to others that we are enough and get validation from them.

It’s confusing and painful to consistently manufacture reality that reflects this belief of being inherently not enough.

But we are all enough.

I was there once too. I didn’t actually know that I had this belief that I was not enough, I just knew I had to get better.

But no matter what I did, nothing actually helped me feel enough.

And I did t even feel like I was experiencing sufficient enough pain to feel worthy of talking about it.

I normalised a lot ways in which I was feeling not enough and developed mechanism to desensitise myself to that.

Until one day I saw the entire map of my activity light up like a Xmas tree. And it didn’t feel jovial at all.

Instead it was sobering.

I saw the movie I wrote for myself where I was the main actor.

And I saw the paradox and contradiction of continuous reinforcement of my negative beliefs.

And I said “ENOUGH”!

Enough of being not enough! I want to play another game!

And the game changed!

I found peace and certainty within.

I now work with others who also want to finally heal this wound of Self Worth.