Autotelic Drive

If you have ever tried to answer this question, most likely you had to recall from your memory what happened that made you define someone as “difficult” and how you dealt with it.

When we work with others, there are always difference of perspective, opinion and level of understanding.

As a social species, humans require connection and communication with others, but because everyone is different and unique in their expression – it often results in conflicts.

The conflicts are nothing more than the battle for power and control. Especially in a workplace, where there is a clearly-defined hierarchy.

This happens if we feel absence of power or control. Because if you focus on external environment – you will continuously get reminded that you do, in fact, lack of control over other people or circumstances.

So what can you do in the environment of constrains and personal opinions, as well as emotional triggers?

The first and the best thing you can do for yourself and others, when encountering a difficult situation with someone, is to remember that you do have control over your internal world and neutralize your reaction.

Emotions get triggered in a variety of ways, but most of the time it is related to the main and most fundamental wound we all carry. That wound is self worth and feeling not enough.

When something happens in communication with another person that makes you feel like you are less then them, it will automatically produce a defensive reaction that is designed to protect you.

And that is the source of the entire conflict.

So when you do notice a rise in anger or resentment or fear- lean into it in order to neutralize it. Get curious. Listen to what the emotion is telling you and watch where it is pointing towards. Observe it.

Explore and excavate your beliefs associated with this situation.

Then you will see that what you are reacting to is not actually the other person, but a part of yourself that the interaction has brought up.

Everything you perceive shows up as a response to something that exists within your mindset and is preventing you from becoming a next, more expanded version of yourself.

So when dealing with difficult people be grateful that they are highlighting something in you that you were not aware of before, and something that needs to be released so that you can express yourself fully and authentically.

When you use this approach of getting curious to neutralize, you can also trigger curiosity in others, which can lead to much better collaboration and get everyone onto the same page, instead of being on opposite sides and resisting each other.

Curiosity also allows you to get to know yourself better, and understand what aspects of yourself need integration.

If you often struggle with encountering “difficult people” or just can’t seem to figure out what to do with one specific person at work or in your family and want help shifting your mindset and understanding yourself better – book a free call with me to get help and clarity.

Click HERE to book a call.